WHO I AM

This was one of those poems that just comes to you all at once. I wrote this the week I started hormone replacement therapy, an important step in affirming my gender identity. Excited as I was, I was questioning what taking this step said about my identity. It’s not that I wasn’t confident in my choice — it was the opposite, actually. Because I don’t need to transition in this way — or any other — in order for my identity to be valid. Our identities are made up of so many things and, for me, hormones are just one part of that. That’s not to say they’re not an important and vital part. But my identity — especially as a trans woman — is about so much more than my body. Starting hormones helped me understand that and moved me to start exploring what else I’m made of.

WHOIAM
testosterone
and skin
and bones;
estrogen;
my skeleton;
a heart that
beats and
blood that
flows

lungs that
breathe and
wounds that
bleed;
my body and
what lies
beneath
a skull
a mind
the words
i speak

who i am
who i
choose
to be
my heart
my soul
my energy

do i define
these things i find?
does fate decide
my identity?

who i
am who i
choose to
be

i don’t know
so i just
breathe