eveAllison Raskin is an actress and comedian best known as one-half of the comedy duo behind the hit YouTube show “Just Between Us.” In the series, Allison shows off her comedy chops, while speaking frankly about her experiences with depression, anxiety and struggling to keep up with social media. Though her JBU co-star Gaby Dunn is widely considered to be an LGBTQ icon and the most social-media savvy of the pair, ironically, as a queer trans woman living with mental illness, I can’t help but relate to Allison the most — and her hilarious Twitter feed is one of the reasons why.
As someone who shares Allison’s bewilderment with social media, I didn’t think to follow her on Twitter until I had already spent months binging JBU videos. But when I finally did, I went on a liking and retweeting spree — her tweets are real, relatable and straight-up uproarious.
Because I couldn’t retweet all the tweets I liked without my Twitter profile turning into an Allison Raskin fan page, I thought I’d share some of them here.
The self confidence I’ve been growing for 27 years just got destroyed by one close up photo.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) March 13, 2017
Does this mean my self confidence is fragile or am I just that busted?
It’s important to maintain mystery in your relationship. Half the time my boyfriend doesn’t even know why I’m crying.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) March 6, 2017
That’s one way to keep the spark alive.
You: “Would you rather live forever or-”
Me: “The other thing. I pick the other thing.”— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) March 5, 2017
Immortality is a fate worse than death.
Sometimes I text my friends: What are you doing?”
But I really mean: “Please save me from this hole inside my soul.”
I think they get it.— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) March 2, 2017
Read between the lines!
Entire Childhood: “You look so young!”
Late Twenties: “What are you? Thirty?”— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) March 1, 2017
I was not ready for this change! I used to be a beacon of youthful beauty.
I’m starving because I’m trying to eat healthy but I don’t know how.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) February 17, 2017
I mean, you’ll lose weight either way, sooo…
My efforts to be a cool, chill person keep getting thwarted by my personality.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) February 5, 2017
Why can’t it be easier to completely change who you are as a person?
Compliment your friends more. For example, you could compliment me right now for giving great advice.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) January 26, 2017
You can compliment my sense of humor, since I clearly have great taste in funny twitters to follow.
Me: “I think I’m finally happy.”
Me, two hours later: “Let’s blow this whole thing up.”— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) January 14, 2017
Story. Of. My. Life.
I’m only 27 but I’m already planning my 30th breakdown.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) January 8, 2017
I mean, how can you be sure people hear your cry for help if you don’t plan every detail?
For all my haters out there…just know…you’re making some really good points.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) January 7, 2017
Take THAT, haters!
This year I decided to stop being jealous of other people’s success. So if you have success, please keep it from me.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) January 4, 2017
That’s called personal growth.
Me: “I don’t want to try anymore.”
You: “You were trying???”— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) November 12, 2016
This tweet is too real. I can’t even think of a sassy commentary. (Yes, I’ve been trying to be sassy this whole time.)
Like surprises? Hang out with me and my constant mood swings!
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) October 18, 2016
There’s never a dull moment with me and my bipolar depression!
Bought a new lipstick and then remembered nothing matters.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) September 18, 2016
The excitement usually lasts until I post the #makeuphaul Insta.
My number one beauty tip is telling myself that nobody cares.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) June 23, 2016
Honestly, why did we even buy that lipstick?
I have so many aspirations that are contingent on skills I don’t have and will never possess.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) August 17, 2016
I like to call this “having big dreams.” My therapist prefers “delusions,” but that’s pretty much the same thing, right?
To do list:
1) Get Happy
2) Self-Sabotage— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) July 27, 2016
All day. Err day.
I occasionally go to parties just to confirm that no one is having as much fun as they claim.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) June 11, 2016
Don’t be fooled by those fab Instagram posts!
Friend: “I was just thinking about you.”
Me: “I think about you all the time. Do you not think about me all the time? What is friendship?”— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) May 31, 2016
K, but seriously, what even is friendship if not constantly thinking of and talking to a person?
Just walked into Bloomingdales and felt a sense of joy that should really only be reserved for family and loved ones.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) April 17, 2016
???????????????? SHOPPING. ???? IS. ???? SELF. ???? CARE. ????????????????
“Oh, no. I just rudely interrupted that person. I better interrupt them again to apologize.” *My brain all the time*
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) April 15, 2016
I mean, it’s only polite…
I no longer have unrealistic expectations about love. But I still think the right eyeliner could change my life.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) March 25, 2016
Eyes before guys.
I’m in an on-again/off-again relationship with myself.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) March 14, 2016
I just can’t decide if I’m ready to commit to a life with myself.
Happiness Tip: Never look at your face up close.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) August 28, 2016
Honestly, it cant be said enough.
If you enjoyed these tweets, be sure to follow Allison on Twitter and subscribe to the JBU YouTube channel for more hilarity.
