eveI wrote the first two verses of this poem last summer. I was in my second year of legit adulthood, working and living on my own, and I was struggling to find my place. I would go out a lot, mostly to this one bar about a block away from my apartment, just to get out of the house — and out of my head — yet I never really found what I was looking for. One day, when I was walking around the block, having a smoke, I passed by my regular bar and it looked totally different in the light of day. That was the first inspiration for this poem. Something about the image of an empty bar in bright light connected with me. I added the second verse earlier this year and then finally added the last part a few weeks ago. I finally feel like it’s complete and it expresses something I’m not sure I have the words to describe any other way.
A BAR AT NOON
My heart is
a bar at noon
on a Sunday;
empty
except for the energy
that’s lingering
And love is
a landmark
I might return to
someday;
a place
I swear I’ve been
before but
I’m not sure
I’ve really seen
And I can still remember
the faces, the laughter
people getting plastered
beautiful disasters
But now the party’s over and
everybody’s gone home
I’m sitting here all alone
Where’d the magic go?
My heart is a car
idling
on the highway;
stalled
while the world
keeps on flying
by me
And all I really want
is to find
my own place;
I don’t care if I’m
lost
just as long
as I’m moving
And all I can remember is
blurred lines
and static
street signs
and traffic, bright lights and
blackness
But now it’s all gone
quiet and
the streets are empty
I tried to run and hide but
I can’t escape
this feeling
My heart
is a star flickering
in the distance;
almost invisible, shining
just bright enough to see
That something so large
can seem so small
reflects on my existence;
because love feels
so far away but
it’s surrounding me
